Since we’re each of us wired for social connection and for having relationships with family and friends and a life-partner, it’s important to understand the magnitude of the influence and bearing that the relationships we choose to pursue have on our mental and physical states of health and well-being.
Most of us realise the importance of fostering positive relationships and by the same token, terminating toxic ones. Even so, it can sometimes be tricky to tell whether we’re truly actively working on forging positive relationships.
Lucky for us, psychology has a few tricks to help us find our way.
Take Stock Of Your Big 5
A famous motivational speaker and life coach once said that every person is the average of the 5 people he or she spends the most time with. Good advice, for sure. We’re suggesting you expand this even further so that your equation includes those 5 persons you spend the most time with in each of the main areas of your life. These would include your personal life, time spent at work, and time spent with family members.
It’s very important to not only focus on the amount of time spent with each of your named compatriots, but also to take stock of what it is you’re doing in your own personal space during that time. For example: if you find yourself constantly distracted, checking your phone, checking the time, etc., when spending time with particular person, this could be indicative that perhaps that particular relationship (or alliance) isn’t quite as positive as what you perhaps initially assumed it to be.
It’s furthermore important to remember that it’s perfectly normal for friends to, over time, outgrow one another. And so, it’s perfectly acceptable to want to move on and spend your time with others who better “fit your bill” instead. Time is our most valuable commodity, after all.
Listen To Yourself
And we don’t mean this in a vain sort of way. Very few people ever take the time to listen to the types of conversations they’re in the habit of carrying on with those around them. Truthfully answering the following questions may help you to understand whether the person you’re conversing with is a positive relationship worth pursuing and spending precious time investing in:
- Are you following a dinner with a friend or member of your family able to recall what was said? More specifically, are you able to recall what you yourself said?
- Are you mulling over in your mind what all needs to be done at work the following day while having date night with your partner? Are you even properly in the moment to begin with?
- Do you look forward to catching up with co-workers during your lunchbreak or at an after-work drinks-do? Or are you only ever interested in either getting it over with as quickly and as painlessly as possible?
Do I Value What You Value?
Sharing similar core values in friendship and in partnership cannot be stressed enough when trying to foster positive relationships. Keeping in mind that people do grow and change – even as far as values and interests are concerned – always be sure to keep a check on whether or not those you choose to spend your time with value the same core things that you do. Even if you love casino movil en linea Mexico games and they don’t this is easy to get past, but other things may not be. Weighing this up will provide you with as clear an indication as anything else about the quality of any relationship.